Ending Life

Lately I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot. I never had a family, never had friends, I was never a happy person.

The sadness and pain that has accumulated over the years will never go away unless I do what I wanted to do since my early age. I’ve shed a lot of tears and I’m tired of it. This is getting unbearable. I must find a solution. Oh yeah, a full proof solution.

Listening to: Scooter – And No Matches.

Leave a Reply


  • Russell vai don't ever think of ending it too soon. :((
    we will lose a great guy, and a good team leader :((
    lot of us are depending on you [you are our team leader for foods sake (I am atheist so I can't say "for God's Sake", beside that food is my favourite thing on earth)]
    it will be a major setback for our movement of free world for not having a role model who is freewill as you are ๐Ÿ™
    moreover you have become my role model [and I hope you don't want me to die, do you??]
    want to know a secret of mine?? (':oops:')
    I also have thought of ending my life by committing suicide [because of my deteriorating mental and physical condition] and believe me I have tried three times in my short life.
    But eventually I figured out that, even though my life is meaningless to me, I might be able to make myself useful to others. I may eventually become paralysed but until then I may become able to bring smile to anyone it will not matter whether I know him/her or not. I want to help others to make their lives a better one.
    so I think you should also try making other happy and you may see that you are also happy ๐Ÿ™‚
    I am also unhappy with my life Russell vai and I have never been so depressed than I am now [My best friend's father died today and I can't talk to him and comfort him :(]. Still I am working and doing what I do in any other day I hope you will change your mind.
    "live for other if not for yourself"

  • If it makes sense, adn you find no other purpose in life, ultimately its your decision.
    Hell, i tried when i was chronically depressed for three years and there seemed no way out of the hellhole. You think 180 sleeping pills is a full proof-solution, right? Hah, try waking up after that in a hospital, going ‘How did i manage to screw *this* up too?’
    Regardless, im a pretty firm believer of the very korny ‘things happen for a reason’, and somedays i really wonder why the od’s and health bs over the years havent kicked me in.
    Im in a good place in my life now, for a change, but thats a personal progress, one i have had to work one much harder than i ever worked on self destructing because i grew up all messed up (ill leave the reasons out).
    Seek help, want help. I always gave myself timelines. After i came out of the icu that time i told myself if *nothing* in my life improved in two years, it would still be a valid, if not logical action.
    Well, every year since then has gotten better till i slowly realized im kind of living an amazing, full and happy life right now.
    Funny how things change when you are open to it.
    Not advice, just my expereince. Its different for everyone.
    Im just curious as to why you would post about feeling suicidal. Why the cry for help in a random blogosphere? If you need the help, ask the right people. Your friends, mental health profesionals. Waxing suicidality on the net is really quite redundant dont you think?

  • rJ,
    Look around you. Think deeply. Now do you really think, you don't have any friend? Any good friend?