“Men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.” – Jay McInerney

“To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it.” – Cary Grant

“A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.” – Karl Kraus

“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.” – Maori proverb

“When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” – Gracie Allen

“If you’re going to be sexy in a photo, you’d better be thinking about sex rather than about being sexy.” – Peta Wilson

“A spaniel, a woman, and a walnut tree, the more they’re beaten the better they be.” – John Ray

“A kiss is an inquiry on the second floor as to what’s going on on the first floor.” – Theresa Russell

“Beer will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer.” – Freddie Freak

“90 people get the swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom.” – Anonymous

“The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men.” – Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC)

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” – Patrick Murray

“When you destroy the old, a new era begins.” – Mao Tse-Tung

“A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance.” – Maltese proverb

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

“Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.” – John Wanamaker

“He who has a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.” – Thucydides (460-404 BC)

“News is what somebody somewhere wants to suppress; all the rest is advertising.” – Alfred Harmsworth

“I’m willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.” – Samuel Goldwyn

“Aim for the sky and you’ll reach the ceiling. Aim for the ceiling and you’ll stay on the floor.” – Bill Shankly

“Me having no education, I had to use my brains.” – Bill Shankly

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

“I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” – Dorothy Parker

“Money is a strange thing. It ranks with love as our greatest source of joy, and with death as our greatest source of anxiety.” – Joe Moore

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It’s what sunflowers do.” – Helen Keller

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

“Money enables us to get what we want instead of what other people think we want.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have 50 million but I was just as happy when I had 48 million.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Sorry, something went wrong. A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.” – Error 500 on YouTube

“Take a lesson from the mosquito. She never waits for an opening — she makes one.” – Kirk Kirkpatrick

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“I and my brothers against my cousins, I and my brothers and my cousins against the world.” – Widely-quoted Bedouin saying

“The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn’t been asleep.” – Wilson Mizner

“First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.” – Epictatus

“No smile is so beautiful as the one that struggles through tears.” – Margaret Fishback Powers

“At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato

“By blood, I’m Albanian. By citizenship, an Indian. By faith, I’m a Catholic nun. As to my calling, I belong to the world.” – Mother Teresa

“If we can hump dead animals and antelopes, then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t elope.” – Eminem

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” – Dr. Seuss

“The single most important component of a camera is the twelve inches behind it.” – Ansel Adams

“Love me when I least deserve it because that is when I really need it.” – Swedish proverb

“As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.” – Oscar Wilde

“Women’s intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking.” – Rupert Hughes

“The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.” – Ann Landers

“Be greedy when others are fearful and fearful when others are greedy.” – Warren Buffett

“Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” – Warren Buffett

“The fact that people will be full of greed, fear or folly is predictable. The sequence is not predictable.” – Warren Buffett

“Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.” – Ancient Chinese proverb

“This is all happening because my father didn’t buy me a train set as a kid.” – Warren Buffett

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