“Dear Mom, I love you with all my heart. I just wasn’t meant for this world! I hope I can find a place of peace and happiness, a place I am child enough to live, yet man enough to survive. I love you! I hope you can truly believe me. Maybe on my journey I’ll find Jesus. Pray for me mom. Pray I will find happiness. I hurt so bad inside! I want it all to go away. I want a new beginning. I am not afraid to die mom. I’m just so afraid of tomorrow!
To all my friends and loved ones, I ask of you one last favor: don’t let my spirit die. Remember me for the laughs and the good times, the thrills we all had together. I hope I made a place in all your hearts and touched each and every one of you in a special way. I have chosen to die, but I haven’t chosen to be forgotten. I must find a new world, a world of peace and happiness. I want you all to know I am not afraid to die, only to quit living. I’ll miss you.”
“The survival of the fittest. Adios Unfit.”
“I’m going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time eternity.”
“I have no family and no friends, very little food, no viable job and very poor future prospects. I have therefore decided that there is no further point in continuing my life. It is my intention to drive to a secluded area, near my home, feed the car exhaust into the car, take some sleeping pills and use the remaining gas in the car to end my life.”
“I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I went online to look up information on suicide: statistics, methods and all that stuff. I was raised in a family where I went to church every Sunday and was taught the importance of faith and God in our lives. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t help me. I got hurt… bad… when I was a child. I was hurt in a way that no person, no little child should be hurt. I think about suicide on a daily basis… sometimes it’s all that I can think about. I’ve been hospitalized for attempts before. I’ve been put on medications to help the depression… the mental disorders that doctors are so quick to diagnose. I’m sick of it all. Why should I bother trying anymore? I’m not even afraid of dying. I’m not afraid of pain. I just want to leave this world. Please pray for me. I’m tired of trying.”
“Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool – good luck.”
“I have a feeling I shall go mad. I cannot go on longer in these terrible times. I shan’t recover this time. I hear voices and cannot concentrate on my work. I have fought against it but cannot fight any longer.”
“I must end it. There’s no hope left. I’ll be at peace.”
“If I can’t see my daughter here, I will see her from above…”
“I’m trying to watch TV but I don’t know what I’m watching. It’s so lonely here. I want to sleep but it just won’t come. I’m so tired of hurting and being a lone. I keep thinking about the pills in the cabinet but I’m scared. My head hurts so much from crying but if I take anything for it I’m scared I won’t stop and I would want to stop.”
“I don’t have any choice in the matter. To make everything better I have to die. I can’t make it right by living. I’m so scared I want out but oh I don’t know.”
“I’m so cold, please do something. I can’t stand this empty feeling that I’m having. My head is horrible. Stop the pounding it hurts so much. I have no control over anything in my life. I’m breaking into pieces. Somebody do something.”
“What is a few short years to live in hell. That is all I get around here. No more I will pay the bills. No more I will drive the car. No more I will wash, iron & mend any clothes. No more I will have to eat the leftover articles that was cooked the day before. This is no way to live. Either is it any way to die. Her grub I can not eat. At night I can not sleep. I married the wrong nag-nag-nag and I lost my life.”
“My kisses burn into your soul,
My touch melts upon your skin,
My eyes reflect my misery
Of the darkness deep within,
I am a waste of time,
So now I shall die.”
“The time has come for me to move on. I don’t come to this decision lightly, however, but now that I’m older, I’ve finally realized that there’s a world of difference between living happily ever after and just living ever after. I may seem strong. But I’m not I’m just like anyone else. We can feel pain. We can die. And I won’t be the one to destroy anyone else’s hopes and dreams. Never again.
“I’m sacrificing myself to save the countless many who would have to die if I were to live. It’s a noble cause, I figure. A good reason to die. I like to think you’d agree.”
“So that’s it. That’s me. Leaving the world to be a better place.”
“I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier ’til this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that â everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.”
“To my friends: my work is done. Why wait?”
“When all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one.”
“”Football season Is over. No more games. No more bombs. No more walking. No more fun. No more swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No fun for anybody. 67. You are getting greedy. Act your old age. Relax, this won’t hurt.”
“Goodbye, my friend, goodbye
My love, you are in my heart.
It was preordained we should part
And be reunited by and by.
Goodbye: no handshake to endure.
Let’s have no sadness — furrowed brow.
There’s nothing new in dying now
Though living is no newer.”
“All fled–all done, so lift me on the pyre;
The feast is over, and the lamps expire.”
“Absolutely no reason except I have a toothache.”
hmm… ð deeply moving!
Yes they are… ðĨ
these people now know the true meaning of life
Agreed, Aurelio.
“Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.” ~Virginia Woolf’s suicide note
On 28 March 1941, Woolf committed suicide. She put on her overcoat, filled its pockets with stones, then walked into the River Ouse near her home and drowned herself. Woolf's skeletonised body was not found until 18 April 1941. Her husband buried her cremated remains under an elm in the garden of Monk's House, their home in Rodmell, Sussex.
yep. i knw Wolf's history very well. She is the coolest woman ever born. I always wanted to commit suicide like her.bt well, its not easy to find a river with water now a days. and i didnt want to choked to death by eating rubbish. so i was waiting for something unique! =D
Right. You can try becoming a suicide bomber and blow up someone important like the prime minister.
errr…not creative enough fr my taste. i'll find something else. no worries! =/
You can try climbing Mt. Everest and then jump from the summit. ð
*glare*
i have suicidal tendency but i don't have enough guts to do it. i want a dignified death if ever i will do it. can somebody tell me what is the most easiest and painless way die?
i am scuicidal, i already tried to cut my wrist but it hurts! i want to die.. painless ways to die please?…
febbie and rey to answer your question there is a method called helium hood. it is found in derek humphry's book final exit. that is the way i am going to go.
i either wanted to die,,i just want to hate my self because of what i did please give me some advise!!!i really want to die!!
I tried a few times, got real close, something always stopped me a song on the radio, or a strange voice within wispering ‘what if, what if, twisting me… living is more of a challenge…happy is a delusion its a state of mind… a true personality disorder… living with the truth is tough
Though I’ve suicidal thoughts on a regular basis I don’t encourage anyone to take their own life. This blog will die if I’m dead, so I better live on!
Ive cried to notes like these all night. i’m suicidal, and scared. idk what to do. im 20 years old and i feel i have nothing to look forward to. i love my girlfriend, my dad, my sister, my mom, and my grandma, but yet i feel it isint enough. when i think of life i think of problems, worries, un=-need problems. im sorry. you people are the only people that know how i feel, but im afraid of telling anyone else. :/it hurts so bad everyday. i think of suicide regularly, im not afraid of dying, just afraid of living.
i hate my life too. just waiting for the right time to do it. these notes make me cry but i wish i could do it right now like they did
im 19 years old… i read these notes all the time and consider taking my own… i feel that everyone at some point in their life has these feelings, has these gut instincts to take their life. My ex girlfriend is now dating my best friend. My parents hate each other and stay together because if they split, my mom gets half. Im not doing so well in college and I try 100%. Nothing comes easy to me. NOTHING. I dont have a car, im not aloud to get a job. my parents use money as a way to control me. I am not myself, I am a version of my parents that they molded from my childhood. speaking of which i barely had. Money doesnt solve everything, I am not happy, i am alone.
But just the thought of leading my own life, having my own dreams and aspirations, and hopefully one day my own kid.. Keeps me alive. Keeps me from taking that leap that many souls have taken. I know I am not alone, i know everyone goes through this.
– Alonebutalive
Antonio, don’t do it. Things will all turn out OK, you’ll see that. Nature (or God, if you’ve faith) works in mysterious ways.
I took the time and read all of these, and quite frankly. I think this is the saddest thing I’ve ever read. Like ever. I have tons of friends that are suicidal, that come to me for help. And, I of coure, help them. All of my friends have stayed alive because of me, and I feel that if I could of talked to these people, I could have gotten through to them. I sware. I love helping people that are suicidal. I saved so many of my friends lives. And, Antonio, if you ever need to talk… I could help you… my email is… [email protected] (dont mind the drop dead please. I didnt make the email. my sister did for me. haha) and, if anyone else needs such help, I will help them<3 All right. Bye loves. <3
Ive lost and gained alot in my days and i have looked towards God for guidence. I know he is there, but i cant get over my own hurt anymore. Its everyday, its continous. I cant bare the burden of living without people that i have loved in the past and for so much pain that i have received and dealt out in the same. Nothing can compare to a life of happiness, but having none is what drives us to these crossroads. If there were to be an exit of ease and have no one worry about me then it would be the easiest ordeal in the world. Pushing yourself to accomplishing the task is not hard, but consequences are the hardest to deal with for me. But living with pain, can no longer be dealt with for me. By the time this is read, i will have ended everything. So to those who go ahead and read this, thank you for tolerating this painful.
These are cool to read. You can really relate to them, you know? Committing suicide is hard, it kind of sucks. LIke, I wish it were easier. I mean, I’m 20, and I see a lot of people the same age on here, or close to it, and yeah, it’s a really shitty time in life. I can’t believe some of these people have, or have had girlfriends and want to kill themselves. If I ever felt that kind of love I’d think I’d be good. It makes me think it’s not the life, but the person. Like, maybe, no matter what went right for me, or didn’t go wrong, I’d still want to kill myself. Maybe I’m just meant to kill myself before I make everyone else sad. Bleh, I don’t really want to continue, but I don’t really feel like killing myself. If only Jack Kevorchian (sp?) were around. He’d know how to help.
And why do people still hate others based on race, gender, age or orientation?
i wish had the strength to kill myself sometimes. but then i realize that my life really isnt my own. i have my mother who would certainly die of grief,my chldren who love me dearly and still God stops me. Life is not easy. its sooooo hard almost all the time. there are only moments of contentment. still i hope there is some reason for my existence. there has got to be some reason for all this. so i keep praying and trying to be strong enough to live in this revolving door of uncertainty
I have absolutely no one in this world. When I die, there will not be one soul to attend a funeral or pay me a second thought. Which, in one way is fine, as I wouldnât want to cause anyone I have loved any pain due to the mourning of my loss. In another way, itâs made for a very lonely existence. So, the burden falls on you to hear some of the details of my life and how I have tried to live.
My life, not to put too fine a point on it, has been a mess. On one hand, I was a very resilient and self reliant. I was never able to achieve greatness, mostly due to a lack of drive and charisma, but I can honestly say I was never a burden to anyone and I always tried to make things better. I was one of those people who, while believing that one should never talk about ways that they have helped people or trumpet their own good deeds, can unequivocally say that I tried to help people. I tried to make things better. Sometimes I wasnât successful, and looking back I may have chosen the wrong methods for which to offer up my good intentions, but I never tried to do anyone harm. There are some people in this world who have a type of intelligence that allows them to smile in your face, while simultaneously figure out ways to do you harm. One of my biggest downfalls has been my inability to recognize those people until it was too late. Which brings me to my ex-girlfriend, Natalie Smith.
Five years ago, Natalie was hired as an Assistant Manager at the property where I work. Although, as I type this, I believe the word âworkâ to be lacking the proper weight to describe what I have tried to do here. She moved here dragging a boyfriend along on her coat tails that she had helped furnish an existence for over the prior two years. She immediately fell in love with me. She described it as âlove at first sightâ, however, knowing her as I do, I can say that love never entered into it, as she is a person that truly does not know the meaning of the word. She proclaimed her feelings for me, and I told her that, while I found her to be an attractive woman, I could never have any type of adulterous relationship. She told me that she was no longer attracted to her boyfriend and that she would ask him to leave. She did as she had said, after which time we began a relationship. From the very beginning, even while we were in what should have been the most fun part of a new relationship, I could see that she had real issues with honesty. She would lie about her whereabouts, and then a few days later, out of guilt, tell the truth about whatever it was that she had lied about. Her lies were usually focused around relationships that she maintained with other men. This is not to say they were relationships based on friendship that people sometimes have with the opposite sex while themselves being in a relationship with someone. These were relationships that included the forwarding of illicit photos and provocative messages, as one might do while not in a committed relationship. I would invariably find out about these hidden texts, secret emails and daily conversations she would have with men with whom she had had prior sexual relations. At points in our relationship, she resorted to more obvious and open forms of infidelity. I donât know how many times I would find myself parked outside of her apartment at 3 or 4 in the morning waiting on her to return. My hopes for finding some truth were instead met with missing panties upon her arrival. All the while, I was begging her to spend more time with me, to please show me she cared even a little. Itâs not that I am drawn to this type of behavior, and certainly would never subject someone I supposedly love to things like that by my own doing, but for some reason I elected to make her a âprojectâ of sorts. I foolishly believed that, if she hadnât ever been in a previous relationship that contained love, respect and dedication, that I might be able to show her what it was like. I was wrong, though, and the behavior continued. During this time, she was promoted to Property Manager, making her my direct supervisor. At times I would have enough and end the relationship, at which point, she would literally make my life a living hell. By this time I had invested a number of years at the property, and through the liberal application of âblood, sweat and tearsâ, had been able to turn it in to something that almost runs itself. A point which I probably show an indecent amount of pride in. But, because of this, and my unwillingness to walk away from something I had invested so much time and effort in, I would invariably try to make it work with Natalie âjust one more timeâ. And then another and another. It was the only way I could make working here, something I had once truly loved, even mildly tolerable. So this is how I have spent the last 5 or so years of my life. Barely hanging on. When strangers you meet ask how you are doing, a natural response is to say âFine, how are youâ, or Oh, pretty goodâ. I would always respond âMan, Iâm right on the edgeâ! I did this mostly as an avenue for humor, but there was real underlying truth in it I can tell you.
So, over time, able to mostly balance all of the pressures I was feeling with a need to appear positive and productive, I lived life on an emotional roller coaster, where I had to try and glean all of the things that humans would normally find in social interaction, from my work life. Throughout my life I had always been able to rely on work. Even during times of self doubt, I could take solace in the fact that there were few people who could put out the volume of work that I could. I was always fairly intelligent, and even in the aerospace industry, I was able to routinely âpunch holesâ in the endeavors of trained engineers. My entire life, in fact, having self-reliance forced on me from a tumultuous upbringing, I was always able to figure out ways to keep going, to keep my little single unit family, afloat. Until my health started to decline. Itâs amazing the perspective that looking back over a life brings while simultaneously looking at a dead end. And in this country, even with health insurance, the sheer cost of surgeries and medical treatments can prove to be a seemingly insurmountable obstacle. So, the idea of being diagnosed with degenerative disc disease in my cervical spine, and somehow coming out ahead in the end, is almost laughable. But even the road to diagnosis is long and treacherous. Itâs not like you can immediately come up with a reason for why you suddenly seem to be falling down or why you have a pain in your limbs that feels like a bone is broken with no apparent trauma. Not only having to deal with the mental aspects of having a career ending malady, but having to go through grueling physical testing, completely on your own with no one to talk to, is one of the most horrendous things Iâve ever had to endure. And having to resort to asking Natalie to listen to me, even a little, and treat me like a one-time friend, and being turned down flat, was the most humiliating. Even after you consider the logistics of âsomehowâ coming up with enough money to have the surgery, then âsomehowâ being able to convalesce for two and a half to three months afterwards with no money coming in, thereâs the problem of trying to come up with a new career immediately after that. Having three vertebrae in your neck fused together with bone fragments and titanium does not easily lend itself to any ongoing types of productive physical effort. The idea of trying to look employable while sitting in an interview with a large, angry-looking scar across my throat and lying while saying that I can still be as productive as ever is just too much. If anything, Iâm not a person that gives up easily. But I am realistic. Iâve mulled this over in my mind for 2 months now, and itâs one of the first times in my life that I just cannot seem to come up with a viable plan to make this all have a happy ending. So, at different times during this whole process, and not having any success at coming up with a big plan to save the day, I would focus my attention on another task. Coming up with a big plan to end the day!
Suicide presents a whole new set of logistical problems to overcome. Luckily the internet, being the harbinger of answers to just about everything, has no small amount of information on this subject as well. A couple of weeks ago, before I ever imagined being terminated from my job at the word of a lying, manipulative person like Natalie, I was able to put a plan together for ending my life. One of my few successes of late. And strangely, as depressing as the actual task of contemplating suicide is, once a plan is put together and it becomes an option, itâs strangely calming. Itâs like in the back of your mind you know that when things get so hopeless and youâve finally arrived at the point where you simply cannot take anymore, you have a painless way of ending all the suffering. I actually found it quite liberating and, honestly, I think itâs one of the only things thatâs kept me going these last couple of weeks. As to the method, itâs really easier than I had imagined. Apparently, the idea of taking a bunch of pills and just going to sleep is a lot harder and unsure of success than I had thought. As it turns out, 9 times out of 10, you will actually vomit whatever you ingest before it becomes truly lethal. Even some of the more industrial strength medications I have recently been prescribed may not do the trick. But one method I found is truly elegant. All I need do is take 3 or 4 benedryl. Once I am sufficiently drowsy, Iâll put a large block of dry ice into a bathtub filled with hot water. This is best done in a small bathroom, and since I donât want to die in this apartment to have my body found by who knows who, a hotel room seems appropriate. A couple of towels under the door, and the dry ice will start producing carbon dioxide. Not as lethally poisonous as carbon monoxide, but the attribute that Iâll be taking advantage of is that itâs heavier than air. So, lying on a blanket in the bathroom floor, the carbon dioxide will displace the oxygen at floor level, and truthfully, a lot higher than that in a small room, and I will drift off to sleep and never wake up. Genius. And apparently fool proof. And, just because Iâm such a nice, albeit mentally difficient suicidal nut-job, I will of course post the appropriate warnings for the EMT outside of the door so as not to cause someone else injury.
In closing, I want you to know that I apologize in advance for sending you this. I recognize the fact that we barely know each other. I can only imagine your wonderment at the sheer amount of apparent mental instability that is pouring out of this letter. I know. I wrote it! Itâs kind of amazing to me as well. I guess the way I am remembered is not as important to me as the fact that I am remembered in some way at all. Hopefully you, being an impartial party in all of this and not being intimately familiar with all of my woeful inadequacies, will be able to, on occasion, remember me in a good way. Maybe just the fact that you most probably saved yourself a lot of heartache and drama by not getting to experience the full effects of me will be enough to cause some measure of merit. In exchange, if there is something to come after this life like you so admirably believe, I promise that I will remember you as well.
Mark
wonder if this will work (i bet this is gunna ask to verify your e-mail…w/e) anyways, go out with a bang is my style, when i’m 18, i;ll head to louisiana, buy a nice sub machine gun (only state legal to buy one) come to school the first week, see who deserves to live and who doesn’t and bang bang, we all fall down ð look for news, this is from Michigan :\
It’s so sad to read these notes…
and the bizarre thing is by the time I’ve read this many people here may have committed suicide. ð
so sad
those are lyrics to a bring me the horizon song?
âGoodbye, my friend, goodbye
My love, you are in my heart.
It was preordained we should part
And be reunited by and by.
Goodbye: no handshake to endure.
Letâs have no sadness â furrowed brow.
Thereâs nothing new in dying now
Though living is no newer.â
What i have to say~
You watch me, and i watch you.
It’s as if one went up to two. And now it’s as if you’ve left my life. . . Just vanished and left me here thinking, . . were you really worth it? I’ve waited for you all these years. I’ve waited for you to come back to me, and say you’re sorry. That you’ve went to my best friend, and hit on her. But you never know how much you love someone until they’re gone.. . …. It feels as if they vanished so painfully, . . . so long.
Now when i look up into the sky, my heart aches. I remember us both looking at the moon together, saying “We are meant to be. . . FOREVER.” But were you really worth the wait? Did you really love me? Was that a lie? ‘Cause if it was, then just let me die.
But this isn’t the reason i’m writing this. Something’s controlling me… Something so. . . so evil. Now i’m attracted to matches, and guns, and knives. I light up the match, and i watch it grab the stick and climb to my finger. I watch movies where i hear the gun, shoot somebody in the heart. I grab knives, and rub them up and down with my finger. I sharpen it everyday.
NO, i don’t want to kill myself over some stupid problem. But it hurts so bad, that i feel like i HAVE to. That the devil is calling upon me, to take my life. But no, i’m not as stupid as others that take their life.You guys think that suicidal is easy to do. You think that by doing just one thing, will make anything better. Who said you’re going to heaven? Who said you’re going to hell? If you kill yourself, you’re not going to heaven or hell. Most likely the inbetween…. Just watch the Lovely Bones, and you’ll see. It’s real, and it’s true… I would know. Why? Because I tried it once, because of love. (paragraph above.)He saved my life though. He called the police, and a flock came, and barged in my door. They stopped me, and caught me crying. While i played with a long string, .. . thinking of dying. They asked me questions in any way. They put me in counseling, everything. Is it because i’m 13? IS IT? Is it because you think i’m too young to understand about love? . . . Tell me. Is this really how you treat little girls? You torment their minds, with questions that are unknown? You ask them WHY THEY DID IT, when you know it makes it worse? Why do you think we do these things? Because NOBODY understands. So, why try and take over and try and make things better?…….
Your lives are fine, mine is complicated. Once your heart gets broken, it’s broken forever no matter whoever else comes in your life. Letting go isn’t as easy as you think….. I’m the unknown. I don’t say my name. Nobody knows me. . . Except for me. Not my “friends”, ’cause they’re not real. Not my family, because they’re barely ever there, to notice me. And definintly not anyone else, because they just walk past.
So drop the knives, guns, and matches and whatever else you’re thinking of doing, because you’re just hurting yourself…. In a worse, and more painful way.
And let me just tell you~ If you try it, and it doesn’t work out, you’re scard for life. And if it is succesful and you’re only doing it because you want to have a better life, do you really think you’re going to have a better one in your next life? . . . You’re not going to be the same ya know. …..
Well…. What do I say and how do I say it?
I am tired of living with the pain, and the mental thoughts that run through my head everyday. I am tired of hurting inside all of the time. I dont want to be like this anymore. What has brought this depression on I now know. It was work all along. Work or overwork I should say. I was exhausted to the point I just crumpled under the weight of it all. I tend to over stretch myself, i neeed to learn how to say NO once in a while I just wanted people to see me and say ” He is a good person, always putting his patients before himself”. I tried to be as kind and as respectfull to my patients that i had to interact with. But not just my patients, but with everyone. I am just so tired of trying so hard in life and still not being able to overcome this depression. I have had a session with a councelor and have been given some advice on how to destress my life. I have taken steps tp improve the quality of my life as well as my families. I have stopped working as much as i used to and have been spending more time with my family. I have also completely chabged my parenting skills around. Before I was short and snippy with my son, and it was all because I was so stressed out and worried all of the time. And to him i am sorry. I am trying to enjoy every minute I get with him. And all seems to be good right now. The only thing is even though I have done all of this to better my mind, and life i can’t seem to get rid of these compulsive thoughts of suicide. It is an escape for me, a way out. It doesn’t judge me, or look down on me for going through what I am going through. I look at it and see peace. Peace for me at least. I know what commiting suicide will do to my family and friends, but nonetheless it feels like a great solution, the only solution to the pain. It scares me to think that I am going to have to go through this for the rest of my life, that is a long time to have to deal with this darkness. I dont want to have to deal with this anymore. Even though I know that there is help out there, it still does nothong for me. It doesn’t help!!I still dont want to have these suicidal, insane, mad thoughts that I have. Everyday I have these compulsive thoughts about how and when I will commit suicide. I long for that release, that answer to all my problems. I never thought I would end up like this. I never thought I would be dealing with the things I do mentally. I cant find the joy in life that i used to have. The rays of sunshine have gone; all I see now is darkness. All I feel anymore inside is the darkness.
I just want to say to my loved ones that I am truly sorry for the pain you are going to have to go through. I never wanted your lives end up this way. If there is one thing that I can say to ease your pain it is ” Dont blame yourselves, this is my own personal decision. I am peace now, I no longer live with the pain and agony, the suicidal thoughts. The compulsive thoughts that went through my head everyday, I LOVE YOU ALL SO…..
TO all who are looking for a new life on the other side. there is no proof that it is there but what i do know is that if you are unhappy with your life in an area and the people around you drag you down to such a low point that suicide seems like a viable way to a new place think of the size of this world and the variety of people in it. Say you feel you dont fit into this world but how much of the world have your truly seen. there is so much to this planet and i know that if your final option is to end it all think about leaving everything behind first. I mean if you have nothing to lose then it shouldnt be a big deal. if money is stopping you from leaving i know for a fact that there is always a way to make enough money to get out of the area you are in. when i was younger i thought of suicide often and that this world wasnt meant for me but then i parted with that original place and found myself a whole new world a mere 3 hrs away. the people i met and the thins i did changed drastically from my earlier life and i found myself never thinking of suicide. I know that this wont help at all because when you are that emotionally depleted it seems that nothing will ever change or help but if you are willing to give it a try i can say that it might help and maybe you were just in the wrong place. Cultures all over the world differ in such drastic ways that you never know what can make you happy and what makes you sad. and to all the people who think they have no one to love them or think they are important its not true… there are people with compassion all over this world who will know what your going through and only care about helping a person. you may think your a drag on their life which is also not true. some people live their life wanting to help others and it makes them feel more alive and well to see you having the want to live again. Im just saying people are going to do what they want to do but before throwing in the towel try happy and peaceful place where your mind is free from agony is just around the corner waiting for you to get there. please head these words and know that i have getting away from it all and starting anew. maybe your compassion for you regardless of what you think people think of you.
Very interesting, but I wonder could it really be that bad to take your life?! I mean is it fair to cut your own pain and let everyone else hurt (your fam and friends)?! I’m not being judgmental at all, everyone has can do with their life as they please. I just wish my mother would have thought it through before committing suicide. I will forever feel the pain she spoke about and I wish it on NO ONE!
my brother took his life 3 yrs ago and it crushed me. he was my best friend and i think about him constantly. i am not going to write a long letter telling anyone with these thoughts why it is the wrong decision. anyone that needs to talk to someone who has experienced the pain and trauma left as a gift for the living can email me at [email protected]. i truly feel for those that believe death is a solution for your pain.
i’m gonna need this .. ð
Alright, first off is I am 21 and this is just a form of depression, a chemical imbalance in the brain. Happiness is a chemical. Remember being younger and very happy every day? Just do everything that you did while you were younger. Live life to the fullest. Exercise, form relationships, live happily and don’t do anything that you will later feel guilty about. Guilt takes its toll, too.
Just think about what you are doing and realize that life is what you make out of it. ::))
Sleeping pills are the best way i guess… go to sleep never wake up, sorted and boughted
The one that starts out football season is over, was Hunter S. Thompson’s suicide note.
My heart is dead and empty
My heart has been broken for the last time
I feel nothing
For any world that would keep me
Alone for such an eternal lifetime
d
Hi! I hope you will be able to read my note asap. I am doing a paper for my PHD in Applied Linguistics and one of the studies that I can think of is about suicide notes. I would like to ask permission if I can use the suicide notes you have in this website and if you can give me advise on their authenticity. Thank you so much!
I JxX DuN NoE WhT 2 SaY.. I JXxX wNa sTaTe ThT No mTr wHt uHh dId 2 mEhH… uR LuV WiLl aLwAyXx b maHh sOuL!!!
Simmi: Who are you and what did I do to you? ðŪ
My 26 year old daughter just killed herself 6 mths. ago.I don’t think that the person who is looking for a permanent solution to a temporary prblem , is thinking what a impact they will make on their families
I am suicidal, but I know that if I killed myself my mom would too. That is the only reason I have not killed myself yet. I just want to know if there is any drug that will make me feel like I do not exist, but I will still function at the minimal level of life. I do not want to do illegal drugs I just want to know if I can get prescribed something that will have the “I do not exist” affect.
Everything happens in every way all over the place. Different reasons to end one’s life, different reasons to talk one’s self out of it and try to live. Everyone has a breaking point, but not everyone has the resources or the education to get themselves out of the darkness, the sadness, the hopelessness.
Talking doesn’t always work, money doesn’t always work, medication doesn’t always work. I myself have tried all of them. Everyone in my family knows that I am suicidal.
They just don’t have the resources or the education to help me as they are depressed themselves. We can decide to put animals to sleep to spare them from pain and suffering but when it comes to humans we force them to stay alive just to we don’t have to deal with their death. Who is selfish now?
Humans are far too manipulative in their ways to get what they want and sincereity is a lost virtue.
So to explain it to a 6 year old…
I want to die to end pain, you want me to live so you don’t have to deal with the pain brought on by my death…what to do?
Western society has made a mockery of the human condition with it’s psychiatrists and big pharma. Just pill people up or send them to talk to other sick people. Yeah, that’s really helpful. That psychiiatrist doesn’t know you, hasn’t grown up with, doesn’t share any memories with you, so how is he/she going to help you?
The problem is that the people who are having kids, haven’t much life experience, education, and resources themselves to then give to their children on how to cope until the very last minute before committing suicide to at least have a chance.
The relationship that one has with life is very personal, and suicide is a very personal choice.
Hey,everyone who is suicidal. Everything will be okay. Not trying to judge but you will have a lot of stuff that make you feel down but it’s called trials and trubulations. Noone ever said that life would be a breeze other people just have it worse than others. Also the people with kids and stuff don’t be selfish because think about your kids because you don’t want them to commit suicide also. For people who thinks noone loves you I love you, and venture out in the world because no matter what you think there is atleast one person in the world that loves you might not recognize at first but there is always that one. Peace, Love, Skeet and Cheese. ð (TimothyDelaghetto saying check the guy out on youtube.)
“T-bone”, anti anxiety meds are what you need if you want to be numb.
Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.
If you want to talk to someone who knows. Who cares.
[email protected]
I want things to be good, i want my mom to care about me like she used to, i want a family, i dont want my brother to call me mom on accident, i dont want life, i have no purose in the world besides taking care of my brother and sister, there is nothing for me in this world, or lifetime depending on your prespective. I read these notes and all i can tink is, why dont i just DO IT already? I’m scared about what happens after death, what will happen to my brother? My mother, altough she is quite a bad one. My father wh loves me, My sister who looks up to me? My friends, none. I’m a whoose I guess , I am scared. And i always think, what if things get better? what if all these thoughts go away? What if i stop worrying about the pointlessness of life. I tink it will get better, if doesn’t? I will never know. If it does? I will, I choose to stickaround for the show, i think its gonna be a good one.