“Dear Mom, I love you with all my heart. I just wasn’t meant for this world! I hope I can find a place of peace and happiness, a place I am child enough to live, yet man enough to survive. I love you! I hope you can truly believe me. Maybe on my journey I’ll find Jesus. Pray for me mom. Pray I will find happiness. I hurt so bad inside! I want it all to go away. I want a new beginning. I am not afraid to die mom. I’m just so afraid of tomorrow!
To all my friends and loved ones, I ask of you one last favor: don’t let my spirit die. Remember me for the laughs and the good times, the thrills we all had together. I hope I made a place in all your hearts and touched each and every one of you in a special way. I have chosen to die, but I haven’t chosen to be forgotten. I must find a new world, a world of peace and happiness. I want you all to know I am not afraid to die, only to quit living. I’ll miss you.”
“The survival of the fittest. Adios Unfit.”
“I’m going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time eternity.”
“I have no family and no friends, very little food, no viable job and very poor future prospects. I have therefore decided that there is no further point in continuing my life. It is my intention to drive to a secluded area, near my home, feed the car exhaust into the car, take some sleeping pills and use the remaining gas in the car to end my life.”
“I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I went online to look up information on suicide: statistics, methods and all that stuff. I was raised in a family where I went to church every Sunday and was taught the importance of faith and God in our lives. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t help me. I got hurt… bad… when I was a child. I was hurt in a way that no person, no little child should be hurt. I think about suicide on a daily basis… sometimes it’s all that I can think about. I’ve been hospitalized for attempts before. I’ve been put on medications to help the depression… the mental disorders that doctors are so quick to diagnose. I’m sick of it all. Why should I bother trying anymore? I’m not even afraid of dying. I’m not afraid of pain. I just want to leave this world. Please pray for me. I’m tired of trying.”
“Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool – good luck.”
“I have a feeling I shall go mad. I cannot go on longer in these terrible times. I shan’t recover this time. I hear voices and cannot concentrate on my work. I have fought against it but cannot fight any longer.”
“I must end it. There’s no hope left. I’ll be at peace.”
“If I can’t see my daughter here, I will see her from above…”
“I’m trying to watch TV but I don’t know what I’m watching. It’s so lonely here. I want to sleep but it just won’t come. I’m so tired of hurting and being a lone. I keep thinking about the pills in the cabinet but I’m scared. My head hurts so much from crying but if I take anything for it I’m scared I won’t stop and I would want to stop.”
“I don’t have any choice in the matter. To make everything better I have to die. I can’t make it right by living. I’m so scared I want out but oh I don’t know.”
“I’m so cold, please do something. I can’t stand this empty feeling that I’m having. My head is horrible. Stop the pounding it hurts so much. I have no control over anything in my life. I’m breaking into pieces. Somebody do something.”
“What is a few short years to live in hell. That is all I get around here. No more I will pay the bills. No more I will drive the car. No more I will wash, iron & mend any clothes. No more I will have to eat the leftover articles that was cooked the day before. This is no way to live. Either is it any way to die. Her grub I can not eat. At night I can not sleep. I married the wrong nag-nag-nag and I lost my life.”
“My kisses burn into your soul,
My touch melts upon your skin,
My eyes reflect my misery
Of the darkness deep within,
I am a waste of time,
So now I shall die.”
“The time has come for me to move on. I don’t come to this decision lightly, however, but now that I’m older, I’ve finally realized that there’s a world of difference between living happily ever after and just living ever after. I may seem strong. But I’m not I’m just like anyone else. We can feel pain. We can die. And I won’t be the one to destroy anyone else’s hopes and dreams. Never again.
“I’m sacrificing myself to save the countless many who would have to die if I were to live. It’s a noble cause, I figure. A good reason to die. I like to think you’d agree.”
“So that’s it. That’s me. Leaving the world to be a better place.”
“I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier ’til this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.”
“To my friends: my work is done. Why wait?”
“When all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one.”
“”Football season Is over. No more games. No more bombs. No more walking. No more fun. No more swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No fun for anybody. 67. You are getting greedy. Act your old age. Relax, this won’t hurt.”
“Goodbye, my friend, goodbye
My love, you are in my heart.
It was preordained we should part
And be reunited by and by.
Goodbye: no handshake to endure.
Let’s have no sadness — furrowed brow.
There’s nothing new in dying now
Though living is no newer.”
“All fled–all done, so lift me on the pyre;
The feast is over, and the lamps expire.”
“Absolutely no reason except I have a toothache.”
I made all your dreams come true, or at least I tried
When you all needed a shoulder which on to cry, I was there for you
During your darkest times and your happiest times I was there. I cried with all of
You and I laughed with all of you.
Now in my darkest time, none of you are here for me, not one friend not my family,
You all turned your backs on me. But when I die, you will all ask “But Why?” And say that I caused you pain. Don’t you dare say that, cause when I was alive you did not care!
Don’t shed one tear for me cause it will all be just a lie.
The end is near, I am calm, I made my peace. I have no more use for this life. I will
Leave you all in peace.
If you guys have trouble with suiside and self harm reach out to others, there are suport groups, yes you may feel empty inside, i did to at one point in my life and thats when i reached out to someone and asked for help. I know its hard and scary reaching out in fear of being judged or laughed at but its worth reaching out, you wont be judged or laughed at but yet tal;ked to and cared about! if any of you want to contact me for help email me at [email protected] i am here for you no matter who you are!
Life can often be overwhelming but the next turn may be your greatest. Forgiveness of ones self and more importantly of those who you believe have wronged you are you’re ultimate freedom. Let the lord carry your burdens, we are not equipped.
I would also like to echo the many sentiments made here of “please, please, please do not end your life.” Despite the loss, hardship, regret, and horrific things we go through (some more than others), you will get over it and the horizon could not be more beautiful. Whether or not you are religious, I think we can all agree that life is far too transient and rare of a phenomena in this universe for us to spend even a second, minute, or year wishing that we were anything but that amazingly special phenomena in this universe. To think that this universe has existed for 15 billion years, and we only have a precious 50-100 to exist in it! Not a second to lose! Please feel free to email me at [email protected] if you are contemplating suicide. Many people on this blog have said they have no friends. Let me be your first.
Hey everyone!
one thing I seriously think people should do is try to find a person to love and be loved by.
Not only will this most likely make all of us more positive but it will give us a sense of belonging. Two people can create their own reality and from that point depression is more easily overcome.
For me it was the loss of my best friend and the betrayal of my second best friend(him sleeping with my first and probably only love behind my back for 3 years and not telling me a thing as i suffered frantically for losing her in the first place) which brought me to the nearest exit sign..
it has been a year now and after thinking through everything, i realised that finding a life partner is probably the only thing which would help. Someone to share pain with and someone to love. Pain will never be as strong as love, but love comes from understanding, and who better to understand us than US!
anyway that is what i am personally looking for, so if there are any women who want someone to talk to and who also feel like love might help them out why not get in contact and get to know each other.
my name is Meroujan im 25 and my email is [email protected]
i have facebook but hate using it, i find it slighly depressing. i have some very old songs on my myspace if anyone is interested in depressing acoustic music. myspace.com/meroujan
anyways if anyone wants to chat im here.
all the best to everyone!!
I don’t feel certain on what is reality anymore.– schizotypal is a bitch. I create all of these elaborate alternate worlds in my head themed with symphonic music and abstract objects. I’ve tried to kill myself many times, not because of the normal “run of the mill” problems; simply because I feel as if it’s my destiny. They’ve read my thoughts, I must go.
I’m a 28 male. I was raised in an ultra-abusive family with a younger brother and 2 older twin sisters. My father never cared about me and would just feel so bitterly disappointed and enraged whenever he looked at me. My mother had severe mental problems and hated everyone except my younger brother. It was never safe at home, could get beaten at any time for anything with broomsticks, metre-sticks, leather belts, fists, doors, etc. I know that no one in my life ever loved me or even thought about me much.
School was a never-ending series of torments and pain. I had no friends, no one to eat lunch with, no one to talk to. The only reason I went was because I only got beat sometimes by the bullies. I had a few nice teachers, but they stopped caring or understanding as I got older. Eventually, I just became a problem student to keep an eye on. I was expelled from numerous schools, but was never violent. I was failed in numerous classes, but was always called gifted.
By the time I hit middle school, depression became a lifestyle for me. I had to practice how to smile in the mirror so no one would ask me any questions. I toyed around with various methods of killing myself, but nothing serious relatively speaking.
When I was 17, I had just got gotten out of jail for something I didn’t do (held without bail), had just been screwed over in a lawsuit resulting from that jail time, I had been out of school for 8 months and my mother was just months away from abandoning us as a surprise during exams. I had nothing in my life except my cat and my dog. I overdosed on one of the many many pills my mother popped and lied down to die. When my brother came to wake me up, my mother became suspicious and asked what I had done. I told I had taken a few pills for my headache (a constant feature in my life since I was 11) and had 1 too many. She knew what I had just done and called me a coward for not going all the way with it.
Just after I turned 20, I left Canada to go to china. My sisters had betrayed me and spread vicious lies about me and my brother only cared about himself. For a little while, the novelty of it all was able to keep me occupied with other thoughts. But the darkness came back and I started to consider ways to do it. I never cared what would happen to me afterwards, I knew no one would care.
Then on January 1st, 2007 I met the first, closest and best friend I ever had. On July 1st, 2010 I married her. When I was with her, her Light kept the Darkness at bay and I didn’t cry myself to sleep every night, I didn’t wake up every hour with nightmares, I was happy for the only time in my life.
6 months ago, I was forced to sell all my stuff after being evicted from my apartment in Hong Kong. I had nothing to my name and was unable to support my wife who had moved back to her parent’s home. I had everything taken care of and a few dozen heavy pain meds. She talked me out of it and I went to the consulate for help to get back to Canada.
Since I’ve been back, I’ve had a few jobs that went nowhere, sent out my resume hundreds of times and was even denied welfare because I’m married. All I ever wanted was to be with my Angel, but I can’t.
In less than 24 hours on 12/12/12 12:36 noon, I will turn 28. I have no education past a shitty high school transcript, no job, no money, no one to really talk to, no way to support or sponsor my only reason to live and no future. I don’t plan to make it till then. I think I’ll just get high, put on some music , take those pain meds, cut up to my elbow and go to sleep.
My Angel will be the only one hurt by it, but I’m doing this for her as well. I’m not worth her. I want her to be happy and free of me. She’s so beautiful and wonderful and clever and kind, so I know she can find someone who will actually match her. I hope he makes her happy everyday and makes sure she knows that she’s loved deeply.
I love you so much Angel. Please be happy.
don’t lose hope elijah
It’s weird, I read this things a whole lot lately. Some of you are so young though considering suicide in teenage years. Don’t get me wrong, when I was in highschool I always had this strange desire of just wanting to fade away and never get out of bed, but I always had too much to do. Track/XC kept me busy and I couldn’t succumb because I had to stay in tip top shape, and being in honor society and AP classes meant keeping my mind sharp.
In college I started declaring I wasn’t going to live past 27, but I had not recorded any of my music and felt I wanted to leave something behind when I died, and I still clung to a hope that things would get better…that suicidal-ideation was an immature adolescent thought everyone has at that age and I was still outgrowing it.
At 23 I had my first attempt, I didn’t know yet that it is very hard to OD on pills, practically impossible, so instead I had an embarrassing stay in a hospital pissing myself while passed out, followed by 2 months of institutionalization.
I did a lot of reading trying to figure things out, philosophy, novels, non-fiction, watched tons of films. I didn’t like the answer that seems to be true (there is no god, people are inherently selfish, infidelity/divorce is a near statistical inevitability). I was kind of waiting for my parents to die so I could do it without the guilt of hurting them, and again still a little bit of hope.
I’m 29 now, near 30… I’ve put out multiple albums with bands…nothing big but big enough that every so often a stranger at a bar will ask “hey didn’t you play in so and so” or “you play in that one band now, I had your record” and they buy me a drink. I’ve put out a book… but hobbies are not enough to live on, and accomplishments don’t feed the soul.
Last year all thoughts of suicide went away completely for the first time in my life…but then that person let me down, and I find myself completely unable to trust other people. I stay inside and drink mostly. I have plenty of offers from women, but casual sex gets old and I’d rather get drunk and masturbate than be with someone else now…crippling fear of intimacy at this point.
I started smoking heavily and abusing pills and alcohol hoping maybe I’d get cancer or something and then it wouldn’t be my fault like a suicide would be–make the grief easier on the family. I realized my parents will live for easily another 2 decades and I can’t wait that long…every day feels so infinite I just wish I could sleep through them. This might be my last year…if I can I’ll try and make it to 35. Helium hood is the way to go from what I’ve read.
I don’t know though, I guess if you’re only 19 or younger give yourself a few more years, you still have a potential future. As you age the doors close around you and you see your future laid out like falling dominos and then you know you want off the track.
Wouldn’t it be a perfect and boring world if we all had what we wanted and everything went as planned…I thought about ending my life at least 5 times throughout my life and I’m so glad I didn’t succeed. I always think I have it so bad but then something great happens. There’s always something to live for. My heart breaks for those of you in pain. And I hope you can realize just how strong each of you really are. Few are chosen to carry heavier burdens because you are more special and stronger than you even know. Hang on to your gift it’s so worth finding out how your story ends…… Praying for you all…
My granpa has cancer and is dying when he dies I will have no one so I decided to kill myself I have lived long enough im 15
Hmmm.
I do not know any of you personally, so I don’t know your backgrounds, current situations or circumstances. But if you are thinking of doing something as permanent and irreversible as ending your life, please PLEASE reach out to someone. Or at the very least put a little bit of distance between your suicidal feelings and your actions. Just because you feel suicidal now doesn’t mean you have to act on it right away. I am sorry you are hurting so bad right now, and I hope that you find the strength to get through one more day. Its takes a lot of courage to end your own life. Please consider using that courage to continue living instead.
Rest In Paradise Yousef Michel Maree Huwe
We love and miss you so so much!
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I am not afraid of death or what comes after. Because we humans are consisting of cells I will just cease to exist. But I will not take suicide because I know my family and girlfriend would feel very bad after it. I don’t want to cause anyone else harm.
Even if you dont belive it there is always some who cares about you or would be affected by your death(cleaners). If you don’t want to live then instead dedicate your life to humanity and live to help others.
A great read. I will definitely be back.
Thank you a lot for sharing this with all folks you actually understand what you are talking about! Bookmarked.
Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the same outcome.
An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker who had been conducting a little research on this.
And he actually ordered me lunch because I discovered it for him.
.. lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!
! But yeah, thanks for spending the time to talk about this subject here on your site.
i think suicide is the things cowards do if you really can dare then face the things which are resisting you from living. suicide is a psychology,it is quiting, which cowards do.BE STRONG ENOUGH! WE ARE CHOSEN TO LIVE THIS LIFE,ENJOY THE PROBLEMS.
my one of the cousin wants to commit suicide because he was not able to clear an entrance exam,this is not the only reason his girlfriend left him and now she is in a relationship with his best friend.i feel very pity on him.his father always rebuke him for his performance in his exam.he is a very good student he secured second highest marks in the board in his school.i don’t want to lose him what can i do.PLEASE HELP!
have you ever feel why people commit suicide………? what they have wrote on their suicide note ? many reason or many thing can happen with him…………..
email me at [email protected] for whoever needs to talk about it. I’m here to listen.
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
I do not know who you are but definitely you’re going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!
Me too…
I read the suicide notes and I read a lot of the comments. I understand. I have wrestled with intense suicidal feelings for much of my life. As an abused child, I started feeling suicidal at ten. As a teen, it was intense, and I came very close to dying. Because of severe depression, I failed out of college, and I wrestled again with the thoughts, the plans, the suicide note writing… Then, a few years later, when my father died a few years ago, I came closer than I have ever come. I am in my thirties now, still grieving the unending pain of my life, and still struggling with the urge to end it sometimes.
But, this one thing gives me hope, time and time again… just three little words, that even when I have no strength to believe in anything, give me hope… God is love. Really?!? I say to myself, in the pain. But, deep in my heart, I know, that I keep living, in the hope of finding this love. If I cannot find it in another human loving me, then I pray for the strength to find it in my loving others.From the deepest well of pain within me, springs this hope… that even in all my brokenness, My imperfect life will bring love into this world. I live for this… to give the love that I wish I had gotten.
You can too.,, live to love.
… Hey… if you just read my last comment, and you wanna talk about it… or you just need someone to listen to your story and to just hear you, please email me. I’m only a stranger until we say hello! My email is [email protected] … please be patient though if I take a little bit to reply, I don’t check it everyday, but I will reply!
Here ye, here ye:
Go get laid.
To BS.
You have pissed me off.
Most attempts aren’t made specifically to kill the person, but to end their pain. If they have survived and are still alive that’s a pretty big deal. That’s bravery, because it’s not easy.
I doubt you have experienced the kind of pain and subsequent desperation to relieve it, but you may have. If you have, it has not helped your empathy at all. If you haven’t, imagine something like cancer. It saps every ounce of strength, there’s a constant ache at the very least, and it doesn’t seem like there’s a cure. The differences are that most people recognize cancer as a problem which needs to be addressed as best as possible, few people acknowledge depression/suicidal ideation, you being one of those. Cancer patients generally have hope, suicide is basically the complete absence of hope, the only bit being that death is better. That’s not always every case, but it’s common.
So if you don’t understand something, don’t poke it with a stick. That’s what you did, because your comment could very well have been encouragement for someone to try again. And succeed. So yeah, as you so eloquently put it, “Get off the pissy pot and grow up.” (I took the liberty of fixing your sentence up a little.) If you lack the ability to comprehend some of my diction, please look it up. I’m not going to dumb it down.
I may be 17, I may have a note not too dissimilar to these, and I may or may not have attempted previously, but I don’t believe I need to grow up anymore. Something else may be said for you.
I don’t even care if you ever read this, but if you do I hope it helps you get your head out of your own arse. Just because you can’t understand something does not make it “BS.” I doubt you understand the mechanics of your TV completely, but that doesn’t stop it from working.
I will now bow out because I believe my point has been proven.
Is Mark still here? Mark, I read your story and now I feel almost like I know you. I was really affected by your words. I wish I could hear from you. I just want to know that you’re ok.
[email protected]
So I have helped so many with my story. I won’t leave my name but through this story you can who I am. I was born 07/07/82 in Houston tx at 7:07am at 7lbs. My father was a jet mechanic. We moved every six months someplace new until the divorce. I was 8. My mom met a new man who hated me and used to be friends with my father. My father and I never really knew each other. Over the years I hoped one day we would have some time. He calls me when I’m 13 late and asks me about a plane crash on the news earlier. Value jet had gone down in the everglades. My father was inspecter of fuel lines and tanks. He was blamed the next day for the wreck. He was found dead three weeks later in Indiana. A year later they found out it was luggage fell on a oxygen line. Nothing to do with him. My moms boyfriend laughs and makes fun about my fathers death everyday until I moved out on my 17th birthday. I got a great job and had the hottest cheerleader from highschool as my gf. 3 years pass and all is great. Next year I got sick. Brain tumor. So there I was dying on my death bed and I was told two weeks I had to get surgery. So next day I wake up and she had her stuff packed up. I told her no. She told me she was ok and she just needed some cigs. So I ran to the store and she had left me while I ran there. I went through surgery and survived…. I had to go back twice for two more surgeries. Got two more tumors on my nuts after. I beat cancer. I went from cancer to the strongest person. My doctor say I survived the worst. Then I go online and read your blog. I faced death twice and both times it was the same story. There is much more i could write but I don’t want to depress you. Understand that life can suck bad. Real bad. Trust me it gets bad but remember you can remember me. My life is a fuck up by no reason of mine. But now after, I live everyday like its my last. My old ex has cried to me for 6 years begging me back. Nope, i’m doing me right now. I saved every penny I ever made just to pay for those surgeries. Over 200,000 dollars in cost. My ins. Also tried to stiff me with a 6 month preclause saying I had to wait to get surgery. My doctor did it anyway and told me I was the highlight of his life.
The time has come for me to move on. I didnt come to this decision lightly but now that I’m older, I’ve finally realised that there’s a world of difference between living happily ever after and just living ever after. I may seem strong, but I’m not. I can feel pain and I can die. I dont want to be the one to destroy anyone else’s hopes and dreams. Never again. So all my friends and loved ones, I ask one last favor of you please, don’t let the memory’s of me die. Remember me for the laughs, the good times and the fun we all had together. I hope I made a place in all your hearts even if it was only for a little while. I have chosen to leave this place, but I haven’t chosen to be forgotten. I must find a new world, a world of peace and happiness where I’m not the cause of everyone else’s problems. I want you all to know I am not afraid to die, only to quit living. I’ll miss each and everyone of you. Bye.
I think of suicide every day, don’t want to go to hell though, although I may be going anyway. I am at the point where everything is bad in my life and Everyone hates me so maybe it’s for the best
Every one has their own problems few of them facing and few of them not they may think for solution as suicide.
If Braille committed suicide now days none of blind person cant read and write or express their feelings…
you also born for something to do great.. do that.. don’t waste your life in middle…
Bill gates father as a wood cutter.. Bill gates failed in his academics while if he think I am waste … we lost Bill gates now…
You can do more than Bill gates do before die…
don’t stop your soul growth…
who are committed suicide they face much more problems than their facing in their life.. that may 1000 times more…
After they are on earth as a devil for a long time also..
please Don’t commute suicide
To all those who have lost someone by suicide and thinks its selfish I ask you who is actually being the selfish one I am 36 and have had 3 people who I’ve lost to suicide and I can feel and understand their pain can you really have you ever been to that point just wait you will be and your rose colored glasses will come off and you will see what the truth really is about life.
To exploding jello
I am 36 and can completely know how you feel and telling the younger ones to wait its like marriage its a decision you thats good to make when you know how life really is and have had more experience if your not here to read this I hope your journey is giving you peace and ease
To all who read this
First I will apologize for any poor grammar. My name is christina and I am 36.This is a letter explaining on my decision to move on to the next part of our journey which is inevitable to begin with.I am no longer happy and am very tired.Now I have been happy and have done what i can do with the hand I’ve been dealt.Ive seen,been, and witnessed alot of the worlds beauty and have soaked it in.Have meant some amazing people and have been lucky and great full for them allowing me to be a part of their lives even if just for a short while.I feel very lucky for these things. But with the sweet comes the sour which I have experienced more than I wish to write about but that us life. I’ve experienced so many different things and moments the few who have been a part of it or I’ve told tell me I need to write a memoir on my life, that’s how full its been. Some of my closest friends are 60 and up because they are who I can relate to in years of life.I know ive lived another life and I will b again . When I was about 7 I remember looking up to the sky and crying asking God to take the pain of the would on me just so everyone would not hurt or feel pain. That’s what I feel now and have always felt with my some what gift if you can call it.I can see the pain in anyone’s eyes or feel the residual feelings of people who have past. I’ve done what I can with it mostly good but some bad. I’m spiritually, mentally, and physically tired. So I’ve decided my way is natural selection. I am sick and am going to refuse treatment. I don’t think we were meant to live so long but with all the advances with trying to beat the inevitable I’m not willing to do that anymore.My friends and family will get to say goodbye but watch me suffer which is only fair cause they will to after I am gone.People say when your old and dying its your choice well ive made mine. What is old anyhow we all say its just a number or a few lines on the face but I do believe theirs more to it. For the less life experienced who are thinking of ending it Wait till at least 30 you will experience so much good and bad in those years its hard but worth it and live it on your terms. I’ll keep you posted on my health. I have so many things to say and so do all of you Ive felt your pain and hurt and terror and have made my decision if anyone has anything to add or say please post it.I do understand
before you guys try to end your life, can you give me a chance to change your mind? I don’t know you but I too share life and I want to talk about if.
[email protected]
please give me a chance, I care about you.
Everyone please dont commit suicide. I love you all.
[…] I came across a website perfect for what I was after http://russelljohn.net/journal/2008/03/a-collection-of-suicide-notes/ This website gave me a long list of suicide notes to choose from each of varying lengths. This gave […]
My name is beth and the girl named beth who posted earler took the words right out of my mouth…my life is not my own or I would have taken my life along time ago…my mother would surely die of a broken heart and who would raise my children…..I feel that my life has no purpose…life is a cruel joke most of the time…my children deserve to have a better mother…someone who can help them…I help no one…im a waste of flesh and blood…..people say that it is so selfish to kill yourself….well isnt it selfish of them to force you to keep living no matter how much pain and misery you feel everyday…feeling so out of place and lost…wondering how you still have the right to breathe even though there are better people who could do so much more with life…and they die and you still live…doesnt seem fair…
How to begin this..
I a regular college student.
As I read these posts, I realize my sickness is not the only one out there. I fake to be happy around from my loved ones and pretend the world is all peachy.
I hate it! The dark depression that clouds over my heart.. I hate knowing that my life feels it’s never going anywhere and Knowing my mother is I’ll.
I can’t enjoy the activities of the night life being around friends and family with this kind of damn depression. I have always been told I was a good looking guy with superb motivations..
Crying seems to numb somewhat of this pain. Knowing the fear of my last seconds or days scares the he’ll out of me.. Will I ever feel myself again?
Pain is an ongoing process of human life. It is there to reinforce character, thus providing us with renewed strength for the next challenge. Without pain our victories would be empty and devoid of any meaning.
We thus need to have hardship and suffering in our lives to enhance the satisfaction of overcoming our trials. And in turn having the strength to give a helping hand to those who also suffer over a similar obstacle you faced in the past.
Life is short. Respect both the good and bad, for they are both your mentors. I believe the harder your life is on earth, the happier your spirit will be after you succumb to death. Keep fighting and become stronger.
I came across this web site and I am so glad I did. It is good to know that I am not alone in my feelings. I can identify with several of you. I am so scared! I want nothing more than to die. I am tired. It seems that no matter what I do I wind up back here. Feeling so empty and lost. The only reason I have for not taking my life is the thought of what it will do to my three grown daughters and five grandchildren. I am 63 years old. The thought of what it may do to my family keeps me going on but it also makes me angry, I don’t want to care about that. I love my family and I don’t want them to hurt but this emptiness and pain are more than I can endure much longer. This is nothing new for me, I was first diagnosed with severe depression about 15 years ago. It was the darkest, loneliest time of my life. After several suicide attempts and several hospitalizations, we finally found a drug regimen that worked for me. I still had some times of depression but nothing nearly as severe as previously. I vowed I would never wind up back to feeling like again, the deep dark hole that you just can’t climb out of. But here I am. I feel like such a failure. I do know that depression is a medical condition and I can not control a chemical imbalance in my brain. It just feels like I should be more in control than I am. I am trying to keep my family from knowing how desperate I feel. It was so hard on them when I went through it before with my suicide attempts. This time it won’t be an attempt, I will be successful. I have researched the dosage I need. I am trying to make it through the holidays, I just don’t think I am going to make it. I live alone so it is easier to hide how I feel. I have been blessed with a very good therapist for several years now. I just saw her yesterday. I think she is sick of dealing with me though. She tells me to live just minute to minute if I feel overwhelmed by life. That life will get easier and brighter again, the depression will pass. I believe she thinks I am wallowing in self pity. I don’t know, maybe she is right. I just want this to end. In the last couple of months I have had several health issues to deal with. My breast cancer has come back, I was originally diagnosed back in 2009 and had a mastectomy, emotionally I did well with the diagnosis. I just was not prepared to here that it was back, I’m not doing well with it this time. It is devastating to me, I feel like my family and my therapist think although it is bad that it is back I should just learn to deal with it and roll with the punches. Maybe they don’t feel this way but I feel like they do. I know that I put on a brave face and push others away but I feel so alone and afraid. It would be very nice to have someone to give me a big hug and let me cry on their shoulder for a while. I guess I can’t have it both ways. God please, please let me die!
Suffer in dignity and you will be blessed. End your own life and a worse fate may await. Life, time and hardship is short lived; do not take your life and gamble with an eternity of suffering.
We are rewarding with death to ease our suffering one day. Taking your own life is disrespecting both the reward and the essence of life. There is so much mystery and wonder in life, we only need to open our eyes. Are we all so selfish and blind only to delve in our own misery? Should we not rather try to uplift our loved ones and live for the people we really care about? Become strong and face this world, show that you are unwilling to accept defeat. Riddle your soul with scars and build the character and strength you thought you never had. You will be amazed of how powerful you can become. Life is never about you, it is about what you can do to make a positive impact in this short existence. Death comes to us all very swiftly, why intentionally speed it up?
From March 2008 till now !! Strange seeing that there are many like us in one way or another though i.didnt want anyone to be like that :'(
I start this by saying I did not, and will not, kill myself.
The reason I want to kill myself is because I can think of no other way to apologize. I’m sorry for existing. I’m sorry for being too afraid to try. I’m sorry for squandering my talents. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry I knew no other way. I’m sorry you had to meet me instead of someone better. I’m sorry. How else can I atone other than by erasing myself from all of this? No one deserved to have me here causing nothing but problems and pain.
Why couldn’t I have been someone better? I deserve to die for wasting this life and for being nothing but an eyesore. I lived so I could continue being rightly punished, but I can do it no longer. I’m sorry. This is all I can do. I was born into a cage of death and despair and I could do nothing to alleviate your pain. I will leave you now. I hope some joy will come from me finally being gone.
I wrote this last night even though I was happy. It’s the feelings I’ve dealt with for so long. I don’t know if it’s even meant to be a suicide note, but it’s hard to say it doesn’t sound like one. I found something to live for, and the feelings creep up still, but I won’t die. I won’t end my life. I’ll live for as long as I can.
I promise to share my story
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well, I’m 26 yo. From middle east. I just come thru this website accidentally, I have same feeling as other users which put comments from 2008 till now. I am impressed by your words. I will commit suicide definitely,I feel I am waste of space. nothing can make me happy. I had this feeling more than 5 years and waited for some reasons. nothing have changed and I couldn’t change anything as well. However I am striving to publish a new method in my filed of study in a ISI journal, with the hope that I was not waste of space and I was useful at some points, then I can say, ‘I have done my job, so why waiting?’